That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
