my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
