It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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