thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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