i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
