No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
