Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
