Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
