i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize