Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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