Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
