My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
