i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
