His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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