if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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