two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
