Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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