you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize