there was a trapeze. enough said
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
