Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize