ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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