My friends, they love my intelligence
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
