i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
