And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
