too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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