Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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