Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
That's when you crack a 10am beer
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
