I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize