So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
