If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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