If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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