He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
