you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize