Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
