Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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