then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
