I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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