I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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