Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
