how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
