I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
