well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
