Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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