I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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