can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize