Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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