The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
