It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
