Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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