That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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