my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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