so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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