It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize