We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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