I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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