she was so not down for the gang bang
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
