im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
