Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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