I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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