I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am available for nakedness
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
