But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
