I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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