More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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