Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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