That's when you crack a 10am beer
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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