ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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